I was asked to do a Christmas video card, as a nice gesture from one work colleague to a great couple who run one of the gyms where I teach from. To say thank you 🙂 And whilst doing this, it all became ‘about me’… (as most life experiences do for a lot of people, apart from maybe Mother Teresa and Jesus).
My friend who filmed it said I should jump in the lake. ‘What a great idea!’ I thought. It was mid-December and the weather had been particularly sunny and frosty; it was perfect. After I posted it on Facebook, a friend commented “you look so happy!” But actually, I wasn’t.
At the time I was not feeling particularly ‘happy’. I am not depressed, just not that happy either – and it’s OKAY to be like that.
People can perceive others of maybe being ‘happier’ than them, have more ‘security’ more this, more that, that they couldn’t possibly have any worries in their lives, because look how happy they look in their newsfeed.
However, you never know what “troubles” people have. Maybe they just don’t externalise it. So I say – try and be kind to everyone, because who knows what they’re going through? Sometimes you have to ‘sit into’ an emotion to experience it – before you allow yourself to come out the other side. It is okay. Life can make you sometimes feel dull…and as a person of extremes, I enjoy the highs of life, while I am not easily able to ‘sit into’ the lows. (This is simply right for me) I try to dismiss the low times with a joke, or I do something stupid or have a mini drama, etc, etc. I am still, after many years, trying to sit into my ‘authentic self’.
However, after I came up from being submerged in the freezing cold water, I felt totally alive. I am still trying to feel alive. And still trying to accept the ‘bits’ (highs and lows) in between…
Notes from the Ed
Ellen is a fully qualified yoga teacher, avid surfer, and a true Bitchmittens hero! For more awesome Ellenisms like this one, head over to her facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/EllenBaggsYoga/ If you’re thinking of yoga, Ellen teaches in Mountshannon, Craughwell, Portumna and Ballinasloe.