Trapped in a sports bra

Last week was a hot one (like seven inches from the midday sun? Santana? No?). Folks were eating ice-cream, sunglasses were on, girls were sporting the latest summer looks down by the river as the lads showed their daring bravery by jumping from the bridge into the cool waters of the Shannon. My father was in a paddling pool. Poor fuckers stuck in offices were slowly but surely melting into puddles of figures and data. It was a glorious Irish summer!


Me, this was the week I joined our local gym.


Gyms are usually hot places. In a heatwave… Well!


After getting a good weight session in I was boiling. Dying. Puddles were forming wherever I stood. I was looking forward to jumping into the cool waters of the pool. As I began peeling of my gym gear, sweat rolling down my forehead, I noticed something. My bra was stuck, literally. The sweat had welded the fabric to me. I never thought I would be betrayed by my most supportive friend. My sports bra. A heavily structured piece that is secure most days. Today, was like it was made from No More Nails. This shit was not coming off. It got to my underarms and no further! So you can just imagine, beetroot red from the training, glistening with heatwave sweat, in my undies with my sports bra only half off. No one around to help a sister out. I started panicking. Was I going to have to just put it back on, walk out to the pool where husband no doubt was already bombing it down the slide to tell him that I am stuck and we need to go home? No I need to get in that pool just to feel human again. Do I just pretend it’s a sporty bikini top and just fuck it and go swimming? No, because the bastard thing has to come off at some point.


Having a fear of being trapped, in anything really, I started to breathe really quickly. I started to feel really claustrophobic and it was only getting hotter. And I couldn’t stop sweating! I was no longer able to get a good grip. I was going to die wearing this thing.


There was only one thing for it, I was going to have to hulk my way out of the bra.


Worried that a more delicate and elegant lady might walk in and spot me ripping my sports bra to pieces, I ran into the toilet cubicles. Great, not only am I trapped in my one clothing, but also in a teeny cubicle with the scent of pee. Sometimes kids forget to flush and that’s ok but it was not helping the situation.


Not convinced this was even going to work I decided that I would have to rip/loosen the elastic enough to push it down over my hips. I grabbed one of the shoulder straps and started pulling, hard. I could hear the stitching creaking under the pressure. I forced my shoulder up and out! Now for the next one, ok, squeeze! Sweat still pumping, breath getting more shallow. What if this doesn’t work and now I am just a woman with a one strapped sports bra! Squeeeeeeeze. Pull. At this point my arm starts to get sore and cramping from being forced into a position it is not used to. Ow, breathe, ow, pull. Once more. Is this was birth feels like??? BOTH SHOULDERS ARE FREE. Now, I just need to get it over my hips, my fine, child-bearing Nolan hips I got off my Daddy. Pushing the bra down, hearing the fibres stretch, feeling the fabric tear, praying it will be over soon. Shimmying, pulling, shimmying once more. Pop! Off it came!


I could have ran around the gym with this surge of freedom I felt! But since I was no longer wearing anything supportive that would have been foolish.


So on went the togs and into the pool I jumped, revelling in my sweet release…




Gear: Nike Pro – keeping everything looking good and in its place

So bras are things we need. They are things that I need. Being a 34 D/DD (really should get re-measured) it’s an extremely rare and uncomfortable occurrence for me to be without a bra. So I’m definitely not seen without a bra whilst training. I feel far too exposed and everybody gets an eyeful!

When I first started exercising it was running that I took up. So I needed some industrial strength, class 5 underwired monstrosity to keep my girls in check. I was an FF so it was necessary. Now most of my training is low/medium impact. Rowing, cycling, weights, TRX, yoga and the odd run. This means the super-duper, clamp-down bras are not needed. I got a bit excited. I wanted to break free from underwire – since I couldn’t break free from the bra completely. I started browsing the web for low impact sports bras. Pretty things with lovely backs and bright colours.

Last year, on my first sports clothes haul at the start of the new rowing season, I bought a Puma sports bra.  Pale turquoise and beautiful strap work detailing on the back. It was on sale and in my size. I loved how it looked but my boobs were droopy. I don’t have pert little things and they need a bit of assistance. I was so disappointed but I kept wearing it in hopes that I would get used to the feeling.

My second attempt at a ‘non-underwired’ bra was far more successful. I was in the Nike shop in Kildare Village (great shop btw). And there it was. Hanging amongst the white and black boredoms that people call sports bras. My electric blue dream. It caught my eye instantly. I waited until Cormac and his brother fecked off so I could try it on in peace (you don’t want lads hanging around when you are doing that sort of thing). I put it on, not expecting to be blown away, but I was. Due to the thick fabric and wide, elasticated under-boob band it held everything in place. Gave a bit of resistance and made me feel really really cool. I was in love. It was €19 and it was gonna be mine!

Since then it has become my staple sports bra. I bought another soon after because I was living in the first one. I probably should think about getting a third.  I still need my industrial strength clamp down bra for running but when I’m not pounding the pavement I put one of these bad boys on. I don’t know about you but there is something very cool about Nike. The brand feels so iconic and a part of sport. You think Nike, you think sport, you think training hard, you think sweating your ass off. When I wear these bras I feel invincible, I feel free, I feel… heck I feel comfortable. And when you are comfortable you can take on the world!

You can find the Nike Pro bra on the Nike website as well as on Sports Direct. I also am very fond of the Nike shop in Kildare outlet. It comes in like a bazillion different styles and colours and for me it’s just perfect for low/medium impact training.


Ps: Sorry if you came here only to look at my boobs. I am not that kind of lady! 😉



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